I can't believe that Jimmie has been gone 6 weeks. It simply does not seem possible. I have been asked repeatedly how I am doing through this, but I really have no clue what "normal" is. I have also been assured by many that I am coping amazingly well. I hope that is true. I have certainly had some wonderful support from family, blood and brotherhood both, which has helped. But life frequently feels surreal. I had the thought the night Jimmie died that he was just gone on another campaign, an exciting adventure to somewhere new and beautiful. I still feel as though I'm waiting for him to return home to tell me all about it and show me the pictures.
My To Do List is still looming. It followed me to my new computer instead of just going away. My final count was 119. After that I refused to list it. I do have better than 70% of those things crossed off now - and some of those things were HUGE, like rearranging furniture. But some of the things left may take a while yet.
My daughter, Julie, has been here this week. Part of the plan had been for her to help me get some of that To Do List whittled down. Moving my office seemed to affect every room in the house as things got shuffled, and it left chaos in its wake. And we have accomplished some. But there was something wrong with our plan . . . Cole and Jasper. Why would you want to work on the house when there are grandsons eager to play? They have both been major sources of entertainment.
Jasper is 3 months old now and trying so hard to do many things. Julie blew a raspberry at him the other day and Jasper promptly started trying to blow some back. He got the tongue going, but couldn't quite figure out the noise. Jasper prefers sitting to lying, talking to crying, and laughing to almost anything. I'm embarassed to say that they have been here almost a week and I haven't picked up the camera yet. I promise to get new pictures posted soon.
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