6,000 Students

I mentioned in the December issue of The Seeker (posted under the Newsletter tab) that we now have more than 6,000 students who have enrolled in our online course.  What I did not mention is that more than 4,000 of them have enrolled this year.  That number still just amazes me because we never had that many new students in any year that we were with our previous mission work.  In fact, nowhere even close.  I really don't know what has made the difference, but I'm happy that so many folks are seeking to learn more of God's Word, and that we can help.

Especially since I'm told that the world is due to end today. Why didn't I get that memo?  I asked what time, but apparently the Mayans forgot to include that in their note.

Christmas is already here for many of us (I opened gifts with my grandsons Wednesday night, and get to do it again next week.)  I hope you have a very Happy Holiday wherever you are!

Why?

Do you ever have one of those days where you ask "Why?" a lot?  Mine was yesterday.  Oh, not any deep philosophical meanderings on the meaning of life or anything.  Just those small ponderings when life plagues you.  Questions like -

• Why do I always pick the wrong check-out line?  You know, the one that takes 3 times as long as all the other ones.
• Why am I even out in this mall nightmare when all of my Christmas shopping is done?
• Why did I forget that Julie's birthday comes hot on Santa's heels?  Oh, well, that answers why #2.
• Why is eating alone in a restaurant so depressing?

And then my sister called to tell me that there is now actual medical proof that dark chocolate makes a great cough suppressant.  Suddenly, I felt better . . . but I do feel a cough coming on.

Silly Pictures

Jimmie always loved clowning for the camera.

It. was a talent that he cultivated, often corrupting others.

He especially liked clowning with Cole . . . 

and apparently influenced him greatly.

I think Jasper is going to fit right in!

Holiday

People always say that holidays are the worst after you loose someone.  No doubt that is true which is why I am grateful to my daughter for thinking ahead soon after Jimmie's death.  She quickly made plans for me to spend Halloween in Mississippi, Thanksgiving in Tennessee, and Christmas coming up I am due to be in Texas.  I think it was wonderfully sweet of her.

But there was one big holiday that was not on the calendars this year and no one but me could have remembered.  Sunday, December 2nd marked the 40th anniversary of the day I met Jimmie.

Jimmie always loved to tell the story of how we met, preferably to large crowds because it always got a laugh.  You see, the first time Jimmie saw me I was running to my car in an attempt to AVOID meeting HIM.  Long story short, my sister and brother-in-law had been trying to play matchmaker but I refused to cooperate.  I had passed on meeting Jimmie repeatedly, completely ignoring their urging.

But then, I listened to my 3-year-old nephew, Barry.  Suddenly, he had to comb his hair just like Jimmie.  He had to wear clothes just like Jimmie.  He talked constantly about Jimmie, so I began to think there must be something special about this guy.  Finally, I agreed to the introduction . . . yet kept postponing the meeting.

Then one Saturday morning as I was sitting in my sister's kitchen sipping coffee with her, her husband called.  He and Jimmie were on their way to a construction job and wanted to stop by for Jimmie to meet me.  I grabbed my purse and bolted out the door faster than a streaking cat.  But my sneaky brother-in-law had called from a pay phone half-a-block away, so they had seen my flight from the house and  pulled into the driveway just as I reached my car.  Jimmie thought it was absolutely hilarious that I was trying to escape, and it wasn't long before I thought that it was absolutely wonderful that he caught me.  The rest, they say, is history.

Earlier this year when the cancer treatments began to fail, one after another, I still hoped that Jimmie might be with us for one more holiday, one more Christmas for him to grumble "Bah! Humbug!" in his best Ebeneezer Scrooge.  But mostly I hoped that we might mark this December 2nd together.  Nothing big, just a smile and some shared remembrances.  Sadly, that was not to be.  But I will always be grateful for the incredible blessing of having Jimmie in my life.

Forever

I was on my way to Bible class Wednesday night when two cars crashed right in front of me.  I was stopped at a red light waiting to cross a busy highway when I heard the collision and saw one of the cars sliding in my direction.  Three thoughts flashed very quickly -

• I was about to be hit
• It's  true - Highway 316 really is the most dangerous road in Georgia
• Life is short and can end without warning

Fortunately, the sliding car stopped several feet away from me so I was only touched by their headlights.  But I was left wondering about the driver as the two girls from the other car (the one that T-boned this car) came rushing up, and immediately backed away as they grabbed a cell phone.  Obviously, the driver of the car they hit was in much worse condition than they were.  Other drivers directly on the highway stopped to help so when the way cleared and my line of traffic moved I continued on to Bible class.  But thoughts about that injured driver stuck with me.

Life really is short and can end without warning.  The world likes to forget that.  Sometimes, we all like to forget that.  But that is one thing we must never ignore because eternity is forever.  

Forever.  I cannot begin to fathom just how long that is - I just have to keep in mind that we continue after this physical life ends.  That's a wonderful idea if we are living our lives in obedience to God.  That's a terrifying idea if we are not.  And sometimes it is just plain confusing if we think we are pleasing God but have gotten wrapped up in denominational doctrines that have distorted God's pure Word.  God condemns that repeatedly in the Scriptures, reminding us to never change His Word in any way.  

If you are reading this and are not sure where you stand then, please, do something about it.  The International Bible Teaching Ministries  website has many materials available.  Clicking on any of the following links will take you there:

• The Church That Jesus Built  gives Scriptures identifying the one true church of the New Testament
• Plan of Salvation  tells what we must do to be a part of the church that Jesus built
• Gospel Tracts  and  Gospel Articles  have many teaching materials on many Bible subjects
• Bible Correspondence Courses  has a study program with a personal teacher to learn more of the Bible

Memorial Pictures

I had planned to post some pictures following Jimmie's memorial service at New Hope Road Church of Christ on September 1st, but never did.  They have been on my camera untouched until today.

The collage is one Julie made for Jimmie several years ago from some of his
favorite campaign photos.  It hung on his office wall.

A picture board of memories created by Julie

The last photo taken of Jimmie was with Jasper and so very special

. . . but I prefer to remember happier days.

 

Cole's Coins

There have been a variety of memorials for Jimmie since his passing more than two months ago.  Besides the services held here and in Malawi there have been tributes both written and in song.  And each time I get word that another IBTM online student has put on Christ in baptism I mentally give Jimmie part of the credit because he was the one wanting so badly to get the courses going as part of the IBTM Internet work.  But this week I saw a small memorial to Jimmie that, to me, was the sweetest.

Jimmie had been a collector of coins and foreign currency for many years, a hobby he picked up during his travels.  Last Christmas he wanted to pass this hobby along so he bought our grandson, Cole, a U.S. Quarter map that includes both the states and territories.  Jimmie also provided a bit over half of the coins needed for the map, so I have pictures of the two them beginning to fill it.  Then Cole continued to search for coins with occasional help from Grandad.  Yet, last August 23rd Cole still needed 5 states to finish it.  Suddenly, finding those remaining quarters became an urgent quest, but they were proving hard to find  Then Monday Cole got the last one.  He was so excited he practically flew on his way to show me!  Then minutes later he mentioned the reason why this quest had become so important.  "If Grandad knew I bet he would be really happy right now!"  I agreed.  I'm sure he would.

Baptism

Do you ever think we have become spoiled by modern life?  We want everything instant and easy.  I know I grumble when my clothes drier takes too long to dry a load  . . . and a microwave dinner that takes more than 6 minutes to cook?  That's just ridiculous!  We expect high-speed convenience in everything, from cars to computers, and turn to entertainment far more than is healthy.  Not that I'm knocking the modern conveniences.  I am thankful that they have made caring for a home and family easier.  But sometimes things that are important take effort.  I got a reminder of that in my email yesterday.

One of our IBTM online students was baptized this weekend.  I was thrilled with the news for that is always cause for rejoicing, but then I was amazed.  For this student lived in a remote area and the closest contact we found was 600 miles away.  But this student did not let that deter them.  They got on a train and traveled 600 miles to get their sins washed away in baptism.  I am so thankful this student realized the importance of that effort.  Fantastic!

Strange Mail

Yesterday's mail brought an unusual letter.  It was from our county's voter registration office telling me that since Jimmie is now deceased he is no longer a registered voter.  I assumed that was obvious, even to bureaucracy.   Then it made me wonder just how many dead folks will be voting in this upcoming election, and I was glad that our county pays attention to such things . . . even if it did make for some strange mail.

Speaking of strange mail, I got another one earlier this week from a company that owes Jimmie a small reimbursement.  I had finally written to them in September, identified myself as his widow, and included a copy of his death certificate.  Yet a letter now comes addressed directly to Jimmie requesting that he complete an affidavit of survivorship, have it notarized, and then tell them who to make the payment to. That's going to be a tad difficult.  Do people even read their mail or think about what they are saying?

And there are the strange phone calls.  I got one a few days ago from a guy with only a first name, on a phone that would not disclose it's number, but he claimed that he was from Mississippi and wanted to express his condolences on the loss of my husband.  Naturally, my first thought was that it was someone who knew Jimmie.  Then he immediately swung into a spiel, warning me that I'm in danger because my computer has spyware on it.  Apparently, he had not seen the memo about me having a brand new one with all the latest virus protection.  Then I got an eerily similar call the very next day from another first-name guy with the same warning.  I hung up on him, too.

Widowhood is certainly not for the faint of heart.

Cole and Jasper

I had promised a new picture . . .

. . . these guys get cuter every time I see them!

Snake!

"Gran, there's a snake on your porch!"  That exclamation from Cole interrupted me while on the phone to my sister and quickly derailed our entire conversation.  How do you chat about anything else after hearing that?  Julie found a monstrous snow shovel in the garage while I grabbed the only other long-handled weapon I could find - a rake - and we prepared to do battle.  But even though this snake was small (perhaps 8 inches long) its color, markings and shape indicated that it was probably poisonous.  Its demeanor quickly said that it was aggressive.  So when I mentioned calling someone instead Julie quickly agreed that was a very good idea.

The person I called was William Howard and, as usual, he was quick to come to the rescue.  He arrived ready for the fight, even brought his own long-handled hoe, the weapon of choice for dispatching snakes.  After he dispatched this one William took a look and decided it was probably a small water moccasin.  Whoa!  I am glad that we called for backup.

I have lived in this house for 13 years and this is the first snake I have seen.  Now I just hope he didn't have a mother hanging around.

Progress Report

I can't believe that Jimmie has been gone 6 weeks.  It simply does not seem possible. I have been asked repeatedly how I am doing through this, but I really have no clue what "normal" is.  I have also been assured by many that I am coping amazingly well.  I hope that is true.  I have certainly had some wonderful support from family, blood and brotherhood both, which has helped.  But life frequently feels surreal.  I had the thought the night Jimmie died that he was just gone on another campaign, an exciting adventure to somewhere new and beautiful.  I still feel as though I'm waiting for him to return home to tell me all about it and show me the pictures. 

My To Do List is still looming.  It followed me to my new computer instead of just going away.  My final count was 119.  After that I refused to list it.  I do have better than 70% of those things crossed off now - and some of those things were HUGE, like rearranging furniture.  But some of the things left may take a while yet.

My daughter, Julie, has been here this week.  Part of the plan had been for her to help me get some of that To Do List whittled down.  Moving my office seemed to affect every room in the house as things got shuffled, and it left chaos in its wake.  And we have accomplished some.  But there was  something wrong with our plan . . . Cole and Jasper.  Why would you want to work on the house when there are grandsons eager to play?  They have both been major sources of entertainment. 

Jasper is 3 months old now and trying so hard to do many things.  Julie blew a raspberry at him the other day and Jasper promptly started trying to blow some back.  He got the tongue going, but couldn't quite figure out the noise.  Jasper prefers sitting to lying, talking to crying, and laughing to almost anything.  I'm embarassed to say that they have been here almost a week and I haven't picked up the camera yet.  I promise to get new pictures posted soon.

New Computer

Well, I did it.  I have needed a new computer for quite a while.  The director of IBTM told me months ago to order a new one but I kept trying to find a way to fix what ailed my old one so that I wouldn't have to.  Afterall, it worked pretty good for some things . . . but the things it didn't, well it wouldn't let me do those at all.  So, I finally accepted defeat and ordered a new Dell, a super-charged monster computer that should be able to handle anything a rapidly growing IBTM can throw at it for many years to come.  The FedEx guy brought it to my door on Tuesday in a huge, brown box.  And there it had been since because I simply did not have the time to make the switch.

Then today I was getting annoyed as my old computer coughed and sputtered and limped along in slow motion.  I suddenly thought to myself, "I'm trying to drive an old battered jalopy when I have a brand new Ferrari sitting behind me."  I had backedup my files more than a week ago and had been working from them rather than my harddrive to be sure nothing got missed.  Really, the only thing I had left to do was unclogging a very packed email box.  So I spent the next couple of hours clearing that so there would not be much to move, then powered down my old jalopy.

Wow!  This new Ferrari is very nice!  And f a s t !  This new big screen monitor is nothing to squint at either.  I'm pleased to say that the setup went super smooth as I loaded all my files into their new home.  Until I hit email. 

The directions I had read so carefully on how to transfer my email accounts and contact lists did not work at all.  I'll have to crank up the jalopy again to take note of the computer jargon those directions never mentioned I would need.   But not tonight.  Finally, I just setup my main Gmail account so that I could check for new messages since turning off the old computer . . . and that's when things spun out of control.  You see Gmail, sensing a new computer, thought I needed everything.  Literally, everything.  It dumped every email sent to me in the last 4 months - more than 4,000 of them!  I suppose I'm just lucky that it didn't go back further.

Now my email box is clogged worse than ever.  I just hope this new Ferrari has a fast DELETE button.

Mail

In today's mail I received an offer for a free cremation.  ??!!  Excuse me, did I read that right?  A free pre-paid cremation just might be mine if I will provide my phone number and email address to a company several states away.  But they stand ready to help me select the "pre-need cremation plan" that is right for my family.   I decided to pass.  Didn't even have to think twice.  But the thing that fascinated me was the sales pitch.  They covered everything except "makes a great Christmas gift".  Then in the really small print at the bottom they ended with an apology "if this letter has reached you at a time of serious illness or death in your family."  Strange, because my guess is that I ended up on their mailing list because I just had a death in the family.  In the past junk mail offers have always been addressed to Jimmie, but this one was to me.

As annoying as this mail was, though, it was not as difficult as the large manila envelope that arrived yesterday.   I had been dreading receiving the death certificates.  It is just so stark seeing it in print.

Item #17

My To Do List reminds me of one of those snarling lions at the circus.  You have to crack a whip at it fairly often to keep it from devouring you.  The number is up to 105 now and I HOPE that is all I run into to add.  Still, I do have 40% of that done and yesterday with the wonderful help of my sister and brother-in-law, Carolyn & Joe Segler, I was able to cross off a major item. 

All of the furniture is now in place so that I can move my work area out of this alcove and back into the office Jimmie and I used to share.  I just have to switch some files and supplies and get organized again.  Of course, that's another day's job but stuff I can handle so this is a huge relief.  

I must say, though, that yesterday was a learning experience.  Joe has a very unique way of moving extremely heavy furniture that was startling - but effective. I suppose you would call it the Turtle Tactic.  I wish I could have gotten a picture, but only if it included the amazed shock on my sister's face.  I just hope he isn't hurting today from it.

Thank You

It is a beautiful Lord's Day, a day of thanksgiving for the wonderful blessings that are ours in Christ.  That brings to mind that I need to also thank the many brethren, friends and even strangers who have shown so much kindness to Jimmie and to me through the ordeal of the past 15 months.  We received more cards, calls, emails and Facebook messages of concern and assurance of prayers than I could possibly count.  I have not been able to respond to all but each one was read and appreciated.  Thank you. I am especially grateful for the prayers that went up.  I do not know how we could have coped without them.

I have asked many who knew Jimmie to send me stories about him because I want to record these in a scrapbook for his grandchildren.  The ones I have gotten so far are wonderful and certainly reflect Jimmie's flair for humor.  Thank you to all who have helped me with this.  But I would love to have more if you have one you can share with me.

The List

My urgent, post-funeral To Do List seems to have taken on a life of its own. It just keeps growing.  It got up to 101 but I found one duplicate so with a big sigh of relief I was able to erase one.  And it has kept me busy. Scan the list for the next top priority, then get to work.  In the past 3 days I have managed to cross off 27 of the bigger, more urgent items.  The list has also been helpful in other ways.  As I remarked this morning when I got up to a messy kitchen, "I would have washed the dishes, but it wasn't on my List . . . "

My daughter tells me that I need to make ANOTHER list - this one of things I need to remember to do every day.  Oh dear.  That one could be harder.

To Do List

I made a To Do List yesterday of all the many items I must take care of immediately . . . and stopped at 93.  93!  And there are probably more I haven't realized yet.  How is it possible to have at least 93 things I mustn't forget to do?  The list doesn't even mention all of the mundane everyday jobs that are now such an effort, like taking out the garbage, checking for the mail and remembering to eat.

I read recently that 3 out of 4 women in America will become widows, so there is probably a book out there telling us how to prepare.  But I doubt that any of us have read it.  And who would have believed it anyway?  I never realized that widowhood was this much work.  My respect for all the widows I have known in the past who made this life-changing transition look easy just went up tremendously.

Memorial

Saturday many of those who loved Jimmie filled the church building at New Hope Road to remember him.  We sang some of his favorite hymns, listened as four dear friends - Keith Cozort, Rod Rutherford, Ronald D. Gilbert and Yaw Boateng - related stories about Jimmie, and then we heard the Gospel preached - an appropriate ending to any memorial for Jimmie since his focus was preaching the Gospel.  

This weekend I learned that two more memorial services are being planned for Jimmie in Malawi, this coming Saturday in Lilongwe and in Salima the following week.  I also learned that a Jimmie B. Hill Memorial Library fund is being established to provide books for students in some of the preaching schools assisted by International Bible Teaching Ministries.  Both of these things really touched me.

Jimmie never sought any notoriety.  He wasn't interested in being a big name or well-known or whatever the proper term is.  He just wanted to win souls for Christ and enjoy time with family and friends.  Jimmie often said that Christians should be the happiest people on earth because we have been forgiven and know where we are headed.  Jimmie truly did enjoy life and he had the kind of quick whit that could get a smile from others.  But after receiving so many email messages from around the world expressing prayers for Jimmie while he was sick, and sorrow at his passing, his family is beginning to realize that Jimmie was more well-known than we realized.

Jimmie

Jimmie Baxter Hill – Elder, evangelist, missionary, co-director of International Bible Teaching Ministries, husband, father, grandfather and best friend – passed from this life on Thursday evening, August 23, 2012 at 10:40 PM.  He did so with complete trust in His Lord and surrounded by his family.  A memorial service is being planned for Saturday, September 1, 2012 at 11:00 AM.  The location will be:

                New Hope Road Church of Christ

                3353 New Hope Road

                Dacula, Georgia

An article concerning Jimmie was posted today by Adam Cozort:  http://cozortscontemplations.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/exemplifying-a-lifes-walk/

Your continued prayers for both our family and the mission work that Jimmie loved so dearly will be greatly appreciated.

- Linda

Go ye . . .

We have been back from the hospital a whole week now and I still feel disorganized.  Making room for an extra bed and other medical equipment while keeping the house looking like "home" was not an easy task, so I am very grateful that I had lots of help.  But there is still more to do.  Hospice has been very active in offering aid.  Julie has been wonderful to assume the task of reading the mountain of material they provided to help us prepare.  So many have taken care of so many tasks that I'm reluctant to list them by name for fear I will leave someone out, but I have appreciated each one.

In some ways this week has been a bit overwhelming, filled with too much activity, information and exhaustion.  But in others it has actually been a good week, filled with family, friends and laughter.  Finding a box filled with old family videos has been a treasure although watching myself in one of them still makes me cringe.  (Jimmie directed what is probably the silliest home movie ever made while trying to fill a rainy day in Samoa when Julie was 5.)  Yet my favorite memory of this week has been Jimmie giving Cole a "ride" on his hospital bed before they snuggled up to read together.

Jimmie tires quickly now and still has occasional bouts of hiccups.  (They were a bit more frequent and difficult today again with some of those episodes where his diaphragm seems to freeze . . .very distressing.)  Pain and shortness of breathe are also a recurring problem.  But Jimmie is still Jimmie.  Yesterday he set up a Bible study with the Hospice orderly who arrived to help him shower.  Jimmie looks for ways to go into all the world to preach the Gospel even if it is by wheelchair . . . I need to be more like that.

- Linda

Changes

Do you ever feel like you are in one of those "life comes at you fast" commercials?  So much has happened in the blink of an eye, but I only have time for a short synopsis . . .

I began to notice Wednesday afternoon that something was wrong with Jimmie so I called the oncology nurse and then William Howard (a dear friend) to help me.  The ER was packed but Jimmie was back in a room within minutes.  The decision to admit him was also quick due to two unrelated problems:

1. he was having a severe reaction to the newest medication he had just started for the hiccups
2. he was bleeding internally somewhere because his hemoglobin was 6.0

The drug reaction began to clear as the medicine left Jimmie's system, possibly sped up because of the 7 units of blood they pumped into him over the next two days.  Poor Jimmie had so many holes poked into him that I would wince when they arrived with another needle.  They also scanned and imaged him from "top to bottomous" as Jimmie likes to quote the Cowardly Lion.  And the verdict was that the blood was coming from his lungs somehow - possibly swallowing it instead of coughing it up - so they really had no way to halt it.   All chemo was stopped and Hospice was called.  Yesterday Jimmie came home by ambulance.

But the good news is that he is feeling better since returning to the land of no-IVs and Western movies. Of course, visits from loved ones have given his spirit a boost as well.  Jimmie was pleased to see brethren at the hospital, many from the area he had not seen for a while, but he was kept fairly sedated there so chatting was more difficult.  All of his siblings have been here this weekend - a planned visit that did not turn out quite as planned.  Some very dear friends, Kieth and Ann Fields, drove up from Florida despite the fact that Kieth is in a neck brace following surgery and was restricted from traveling.  My sister and brother-in-law, Carolyn and Joe Segler, were more than 2,000 miles away at the Glacier National Park when things worsened, but they loaded their RV and are on their way, scheduled to arrive tomorrow.  But probably the biggest boost is knowing that Julie, Cole and Jasper will be arriving tonight.  Getting to see his grandsons is no doubt the best gift Jimmie could receive, because today is his 59th birthday.

- Linda

The Horrible Hiccups

I am listening to a wonderful sound - Jimmie sleeping peacefully.  There has been very little of that in the past 5 nights.  Just after my last post about hating hiccups they hit Jimmie again with a vengeance . . . and kept on going.  Remembering how devastating the aggravation, sleep deprivation and sheer agony became last fall, I have to admit to becoming a bit frantic.  I quickly searched for the medicine that helped Jimmie with the hiccups the last time, checked with the doctor to be sure it was safe for him to take with his current prescriptions, and was thankful when he got some relief on Friday.

Unfortunately, the celebrations were short-lived.  On Saturday suddenly the magic pills lost their magic and did not phase those nasty spasms.  Zip.  Nothing.  On Sunday it got worse.  Jimmie started having episodes where the diaphram would suddenly freeze.  He did not hiccup.  He also did not breathe.  Just watching it was absolutely terrifying.  I don't want to even imagine how bad it must have felt. 

On Monday the PA at the doctor's office noticed that Jimmie's calcium level was extremely low and suggested that might be the cause.  Low?  Jimmie has been plagued with high calcium for months due to the cancer and just took the treatment to bring it down again a few weeks ago.  Apparently the shot zapped it too much this time.  The PA told us that if it was the low calcium causing the problem then no prescription drug was going to have any affect on the hiccups.  Okay - that rang a bell.  He suggested I get some calcium supplements when I went to our pharmacy for the new prescription he was calling in.  But Jimmie had another freezing bout hit while he was having an IV of fluids there.  As soon as he could gasp some air again I grabbed my purse and scurried to the tiny drug store downstairs.  Jimmie started on the calcium pills before he even left the building.

And I think they are helping.  He continued to hiccup today but said that they were not as severe.  He also had several good breaks from them that allowed him to get some badly needed sleep.  Even more important, he did not have any freezing episodes.  So to borrow a phrase Jimmie's doctor likes to use - I am "cautiously optimistic" that we are going to beat the hiccups.

But other kinds of optimism are actually in short supply at the moment.  Last week the doctor said that he did not believe Jimmie had much longer to live.  When pressed he replied that if everything continues to go as it is presently, perhaps two months.  Those were very difficult words to hear.  They were impossible to write so I chose to ignore them for a while.  But that is not the kind of thing you can ignore for long.

Many of you have told me often that Jimmie and I are constantly in your prayers and I truly appreciate that.  I do not know how anyone deals with such events without the blessing of prayer.  And we continue to need those prayers – prayers that Jimmie’s health will improve if it is God’s will and if it is not, prayers that his passing will be easy.  

Jimmie said a few days ago that he really does not like being sick, but that he would rather be sick in Christ than without Christ.   I really do not want to lose Jimmie, not in two months or two decades.  I can't even remember a life when he wasn't my best friend and husband, the one who urged me on to better things and made me laugh in even the toughest times.  But I know that Jimmie is prepared for eternity.  I know that the joys of heaven are greater than anything we can even attempt to imagine.  And I know that God has a plan.  We must always put our trust in Him.

- Linda

Things I Hate

I hate hiccups.  Pain, fever and a host of other unpleasant things are not fun but at least you know there is a sound reason for their existence.  They are a useful warning tool of bigger trouble.  But hiccups?    They are like cockroaches - startling and nasty and absolutely of no earthly good that I can fathom.  And cancer hiccups are the worst.  I never knew there was such a thing until Jimmie suffered so with them just before his surgery last November.  After that if he had even a quick hiccup it would make me cringe.  For the last month Jimmie has had brief bouts of hiccups again, but today he had one of those excruciating long episodes that just wreck you.  I really hate hiccups!!

I hate waiting.  Generally I'm a very patient person perfectly able to deal with delays at doctor's offices, airports and the like.  But when something bad could happen and you have to simply wait to see if it does, that's a whole new level of stress.  The doctor stopped one of Jimmie's chemo meds and the blood thinner injections because he felt they were the cause of the blood leaking from his lungs early Sunday morning.  He told us that stopping the blood thinner was risky since the cancer has thrown some clots into Jimmie's lungs in the past, but he felt the risk of Jimmie drowning in his own blood was even greater.  Neither possibility sounded good to me.  But if Jimmie can avoid bleeding for a few weeks  then he may put him back on either this or another chemo.  I really hate waiting!!

I hate feeling helpless.  Being sick or in pain is truly difficult and not something any of us ever want to do.  Yet, watching a loved one suffer and not being able to help is far worse than any sickness I have ever experienced.  On Monday the doctor also reduced the second chemo medication to 1/2 of the dosage Jimmie was taking because the full dosage was making him sick.  The hope is that Jimmie will become tolerant of it.  The hope is that this medication will boost his immune system and Jimmie will start feeling better.  But in the meantime there is very little between Jimmie and this aggressive, fast-growing cancer other than prayer.  I really hate feeling helpless!!

But mostly, I hate cancer.  A friend on Facebook made that statement the other day and I was surprised at how vehemently I instantly agreed with her.  Cancer is horrible. It creeps silently spreading ugliness and decay.  It takes wonderful, beautiful people that you love and destroys them utterly and completely.  I really hate cancer!!!

But then I realize that God must feel this same way about sin.

- Linda

The Good, The Bad and The Scary

The Good
I got my first smile from Jasper yesterday . . . followed by many, many more.  He has grown so much in the last month and it has been a blessing that he and his parents (who have now become nameless as all parents of newborns do) could come this weekend.  It certainly put a smile on Jimmie's face to be the first to hold Jasper when they arrived Friday night.  And I was thrilled to get so many big grins from our youngest grandson.  It doesn't get much better than that.  I also laughed that Jasper enjoyed surveying the room and bestowed fleeting smiles on a box of envelopes and a large copper picture of 2 elephants from Zambia.  But while the wall of masks Jimmie has collected from around the world drew his attention repeatedly he remained deadly serious while staring at them.  I agree, Jasper.  Some of those faces look very strange.

The Bad
Jimmie's white blood cell count had gone up enough in Friday's lab work that the doctor approved the chemo shot for Friday night.  That should have been in the Good list, but taking the shot shortly after Jasper arrived made Jimmie very sick again, which was certainly not how he wanted to spend the weekend.

The Scary
Jimmie suddenly coughed up some bright red blood about midnight Saturday night.  A few seconds later he coughed up some more, and then more again.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes the coughing spread out to about every 2 minutes, but the amount of blood coughed was increasing.  So I put in an emergency call to the doctor's office.  Fortunately, Jimmie's oncologist was the one on-call this weekend.  Unfortunately, he did not hear his pager with the first buzz.  I called again an hour later and he called me immediately, very apologetic that the first page did not wake him.  By then it had been about 15 minutes since Jimmie had coughed any blood so we were both hoping this ordeal was over.  But the doctor gave me some instructions that I expected (like, Stop the blood thinner!) and some I didn't (like, if Jimmie gets worse and needs to go to the ER call an ambulance rather than driving him yourself.)  He called back a couple of times during the night just to check on Jimmie.  Thankfully, I could report that Jimmie was resting quietly with no further blood loss.

- Linda

Extremes

The heat has been extreme this week, but Cole managed to stay cool while playing outside at the Mall of Georgia on Tuesday.

The fountain was a popular spot and Cole was in no hurry to leave.  I think it safe to say that he had an absolute blast playing in the water.

Jimmie's fatigue has also been extreme this week but without an easy remedy.  His white cell blood count was so low on Monday that the doctor immediately cancelled the shots for Monday & Wednesday nights.  It is strange but each chemo has done something to Jimmie's blood, but a different something.  The first was known to hit the red blood cells.  The second did that as well at times but was more prone to drop the platelet counts.  Now this one zinged the white blood cells.  Yet the doctor was startled that it happened so quickly, after only 2 doses.  He thought perhaps he started the medicine too soon after stopping the last chemo.  Tomorrow we go for labs again to see if he can start back on the shots. 

Today Jimmie had a 9:30 MRI appointment that was supposed to take about 40 minutes to do, which worked great because he had a second appointment in the same building for another test at 11:00. One hour and 15 minutes after they took Jimmie back to the MRI machine I finally asked at the desk if there was a problem.  That's when I learned that they had taken Jimmie to the hospital for an X-ray first.  I must have looked as startled as I felt because the receptionist assured me that the MRI was almost done, just another 5 minutes or so.  So, we could just make the other appointment.  At 11:00 the receptionist checked again, then notified the doctor upstairs we would be about 10 - 15 minutes late.  45 minutes after that Jimmie finally emerged looking even more exhausted than when he went in.  But we still had to head for the elevator and test #2.

By then Cole's fountain was sounding pretty good to me.  They need to have one of those for adults.

- Linda

Weekend Tidbits

Friday night was shot night again.  Filling the syringe was only slightly less daunting although mixing the medicine was easier and the sickness that followed was definitely reduced.  No fever at all so he actually managed to sleep some.  I suppose Jimmie could have just had an easier reaction, but I think it was because I saturated him with Vitamin C.

Saturday was . . . interesting.  I headed to the Atlanta airport early arriving even before the suggested 75 minutes pre-flight, then got stuck in the biggest mess imaginable.  I had heard folks complaining about the security measures there but did not understand just how bad it was.  First, I walked down to the South Security checkpoint since I was in the South Terminal - but it closed with the man directly in front of me because it was too full.  I was told to walk back to the main security checkpoint where I got in the world's longest line.  I have to say that it was organized and everyone trudging along was pleasant . . . except for the young couple who tried to cut from the back of the line all the way to the front.  When they got sent back down again a few minutes later their scowls put the rest of us standing our turn into a much better mood.

But I may have been scowling myself a few minutes later.  Since my knee replacement surgery I have carried a card with me for just such occasions to show that I have metal in my body.  Last year when we flew more than 25,000 miles and went through security checks in numerous airports I always showed them my card before walking through the machines so they would know.  Sometimes that was all it took, others they did a quick scan with their magic wand to confirm the only metal was where I said it was and I was cleared to go. 2 - 3 minutes tops.

Not so Saturday.

I showed my card before walking through the metal detector and was directed to the little clear plastic cage as I expected.  And there I waited . . . and waited.  I waited for about 10 minutes.  By the time the female agent came over to tell me that I would have to have the "pat down" I was getting very worried - and then annoyed.  Because this same female agent had been standing about 5 feet away the whole time doing nothing in particular that I could see other than ignoring me.  And the "pat down" took another forever.  The only time I had ever been frisked as those cop shows call it had been at an airport in Ghana in 1983 - a very unpleasant experience.  This frisking was way more thorough and embarrassing.  The agent had asked me if I wanted to move to a private room, but I replied that I didn't have the time, just get it done.  Then she tells me that the "pat down" was because I went through the wrong machine.  If I had chosen the body scanner I would not have had a problem.  Lovely.  That would have been useful information to know BEFORE instead of  just going to the line where I was directed.  By the time I reached my gate the flight had already boarded so at least I didn't have to stand in a line there.

Still, the weekend was worth the hassle.  Getting to hold Jasper, my newest grandson, for just a little while was wonderful.  Flying back to Atlanta that afternoon bringing Cole with me to spend the week with us was fantastic.  But hearing Jimmie read a bedtime story to him tonight was priceless.

- Linda

Nursing 101

I remember a time when you had to have a degree to give a shot, or at least special training.  So when I learned that this new medication Jimmie has to inject into himself 3 times per week comes with a vial and a syringe  that we have to fill I remarked to my sister that this chemo thing was getting too "medical".  We both laughed . . . but that was before I actually opened a box and discovered that we also had to make the medicine.  Dear me - way too medical.  The nurse gave me a quick course in how to attach a needle to a syringe before I left the doctor's office yesterday with this huge Styrofoam cooler filled with ice and small prescription packs.  But last night I was suddenly wishing for a nursing degree.

The packet that went with each dosage contained a syringe, 2 needles (?), 2 alcohol swabs, and a band-aid.  (I was told to find my own cotton ball.)  The prescription box held 2 tiny vials and some instructions - a very good thing since preparing the syringe fell to me.  But the list of instructions was quite literally longer than my arm.  The list of steps was very detailed, from first sterilizing my work area to disposing of the paraphernalia.  I suppose my main concern was getting air in the injection - something the nurse had said not to worry about but I've seen all those murder mysteries where the victim is killed by a single air bubble.  Naturally I got a stubborn one but it finally came out.  Yes, the whole thing had me seriously stressed.

I really shouldn't be complaining, though.  I had the easy part.  Jimmie was the one who gave himself the injection.  And Jimmie was the one who suffered the side effects.

The doctor had said the med might make Jimmie feel bad for a while.  The prescription brochure said the most common side effect was flu-like symptoms.  Neither really gave a clear picture of what to expect.  Fortunately, the nurse told me that it was common to run a fever of 101 degrees or higher for 8 - 10 hours after injection and suggested starting Tylenol BEFORE the shot..  I'm very glad of that or I would have been totally freaked out at how sick Jimmie got through the night.  The idea of sleeping through the worst of it really does not work.

- Linda

Chemo #3

Yesterday was a notable day, a milestone of sorts, but not one I cared to celebrate so it whizzed by without a thought.  July 17 marked exactly 9 months since we were told that Jimmie has renal cancer, precisely 8 months since his right kidney was removed but all of the tumor wasn't, and just over 7 months since he has been dealing with the side effects of chemo.

I call it chemo because the doctor said all the drugs are really chemos, but what they are giving Jimmie is not technically classed as a chemo in the cancer treatment world.  They call it "targeted therapy" because these drugs are only supposed to target cancer cells to prohibit new growth, as opposed to the traditional chemos and radiation treatments which kill cells of all kinds.  Jimmie started his third variety of targeted therapy chemo on Monday.  The nurse called this one a "biologic" but how that is different I am not sure.  It is given by infusion so between labs, doctor consult and then the infusion we were at the doctor's office half a day on Monday.

Yet that was only half of the treatment, the compliment to the real cancer fighter Jimmie will be taking in a shot at home 3 times a week.  Or he will be if we can ever get the medicine.  He was supposed to start the first shot on Monday night so the doctor had called the drug store last Friday to order and have it ready for us.  But through some kind of glitch he called the wrong drug store (one we had used before but now no longer works with our insurance).  They did nothing until the tech in the infusion center started tracking it down on Monday afternoon.  THEN instead of this drug store simply turning the prescription over to our usual pharmacy as I requested, they insisted they would fill the order through their mail order service.  So on Monday they told the doctor's office the medicine will be delivered to our local pharmacy on Tuesday.  On Tuesday Jimmie was told by this drug store that the medicine will be delivered directly to our home on Wednesday.  Half an hour later I am told by the mail order company that this medicine will be delivered to his doctor's office on FRIDAY and I can pick it up there.

I was not happy.  Very not happy.  They put me on hold for about 10 minutes, which did not help, but came back to say that they would TRY to have the medicine to my doctor's office by WEDNESDAY.

This morning we got a call early from FedEx telling us that we would be getting a delivery this morning that must be signed for . . . so I'm assuming that is the medicine.  I just have no clue WHERE they are delivering it.

- Linda

Mississippi Scan

Today's To Do List was fairly simple:

1. Clear my email.
2. Assign the Internet BCC students to teachers.
3. Finish editing a book for a friend.
4. Call the oncologist's office to report if Jimmie had lost any further blood (he had not).
5. Pick up a few things at the grocery store.

I had just checked down to #4 when the phone rang and it was the oncologist.  My first reaction was pleasant surprise that he would call personally to check on Jimmie, and he did.  But then he had news and I could tell from the change in Jimmie's expression that it was not something we wanted to hear.  

The doctor had gotten a copy of the tests done in the Mississippi ER two weeks ago and the cancer is growing again.  Jimmie's last regularly scheduled CT Scan had been on June 11th and we were still rejoicing because the cancer had shrunk.  But just 18 days later the Mississippi scan showed that the largest cancer nodule in his lungs had grown by 25%.  The doctor did not go into any details about the others - we'll see him Monday for a complete report - but just this info was enough of a shock. He also explained to Jimmie that he is changing the treatment protocol again immediately so next week Jimmie will begin 2 new cancer drugs plus have a change in the blood thinner.

It is amazing what can swirl around in your head when you get news like this.  Wondering what the other cancer spots have done, wondering how much more everything has grown in the 2 weeks since the Mississippi scan, wondering what new awful side effects Jimmie will have to deal with next, wondering . . .  . But two thoughts surfaced as prominent.  First, coughing that blood in Mississippi was a blessing in disguise.  Without it Jimmie probably would not have had another CT Scan scheduled until September.  And second, this probably closes any chance of the Africa campaign.

Please pray for Jimmie, especially this weekend.  It is going to be a tough one.

- Linda

2 Weeks

I can't believe that Jasper is 2 weeks old today.  Jimmie has another 2 weeks on this round of chemo.  And in 2 weeks Jimmie starts packing for Africa, if he is cleared to go.  


Considering how much pain and sickness Jimmie was experiencing last fall it is amazing that he could even be considering a campaign this summer.  Especially one as rigorous as the one to Zambia.  There are campaigns that are fairly easy, even fun.  There are campaigns that are filled to exhaustion with work but you have a good bed to drop into every night with plenty of good food and fellowship to keep you going.  And then there are campaigns like the one to Zambia and spots like Siamafumba.  


Siamafumba isn't even a village, just a crossroads, but thousands walk there as a central meeting place to hear the gospel preached, share a community meal, and sleep on the ground.  Sleeping on the ground is what has kept me from joining Jimmie on these annual Africa trips.  Preaching to thousands in a grass-covered brush arbor is what inspires Jimmie to keep going back.  


Please pray that Jimmie will be able to continue mission campaigns of all kinds for many years to come.

- Linda

Blood

Well, the blood came back.  Jimmie starting spitting up blood again last Friday.  Sometimes it was old clots.  Sometimes it was bright red fresh blood.  Neither made us happy.  Jimmie decided against calling the doctor when it started because he did not want to spend another day at the ER being poked, prodded and photographed with various machines.  He also did not want to go to the doctor's office because his oncologist was on vacation last week and that is who he trusts.  And Jimmie decided against going off the chemo.  That had been the immediate recommendation from the nurse both of the other two times this had started so that's what we expected to hear again.  After Jimmie made his decisions that didn't leave me any options except worry.

The blood loss was very small but continued through the weekend, so when we arrived at the doctor's office on Monday for the weekly labs I'm afraid I was a tattletale.  The doctor's secretary got very concerned very quickly.  Jimmie was not scheduled to see anyone that day, but within minutes he was in an exam room with the nurse practitioner, and minutes after that the doctor, too.  But rather than taking Jimmie off of the chemo the doctor thought the blood thinner was probably the problem.  Jimmie has been taking daily injections of the highest dosage available as a precaution against the cancer throwing new clots since it had already thrown a few into his lungs.  They did testing when he first started this regiment to be sure the dosage was okay, but the doctor thinks it has now become too high.  Result?  Jimmie is enjoying a short break from the torture shots he hates so has decided he is not annoyed with me after all.   And there has not been any blood loss since Sunday night.

- Linda

Family Pictures

Jasper

Our newest grandson has arrived healthy, happy and adorable!  I'm so pleased that our daughter was able to have the home birth she planned and everything went well.  Big brother  Cole was the first to see his new sibling and then announce to the rest of us waiting, "It's Jasper!"  

I do believe that Cole really likes his new brother.

Jasper's other grandmother and I were given the awesome privilege of being the first ones to dress him after birth, and then everyone wanted to hold him.

Jasper's grandfathers passed him like old pros, even if it was past 3 in the morning by now.

It was my first time to be a part of a home birth and I have to say it was thrilling.  Having the whole family there and enjoying some bonding time with Jasper so soon after his birth was a wonderful experience.

Having the newly revised Hill clan together to worship our Lord just 3 days later was also a joy.

- Linda

39 Years

June 29, 1973 -



I can hardly believe it has been 39 years today since this picture was taken.  Time truly does fly when  you are having fun.

This has been a particulary exciting week.  Yesterday our second grandson was born - 5 days late just like his mother, and adorable just like his big brother.  His name is Jasper, a well-known name is Jimmie's family since it was shared by his father, grandfather and greatgrandfather.  (It skipped Jimmie which is another story entirely.)   When I excitedly reminded Cole that he got the baby   brother he asked for he quickly corrected me. "I didn't say baby brother, I just said brother."  Later he agreed wholeheartedly that he liked Jasper, then continued, "but it would be better if he  could talk."  Ha!  I had long suspected that Cole was envisioning a slightly older version of a sibling than what was arriving.

What arrived today was our wedding anniversary, but I never expected to be celebrating quite as we did.  We spent the majority of the day in the Emergency Room of the local hospital here.  Jimmie began coughing up blood yesterday and it continued early this morning, so his oncologist in Georgia wanted him checked out immediately since such can be one of the more serious, life-threatening side effects of the chemo Jimmie is taking.  Being so far from home complicated matters a bit, but the hospital staff were running in circles very quickly.  They were literally standing in line outside his exam room waiting to do things to him.  Inside of 2 hours Jimmie had been jabbed 4 times, X-Rayed, EKGed, Cat Scanned and had an IV of antibiotics started.  We left there another  2 1/2 hours after that exhausted, semi-frozen and not knowing anything more than when we arrived.  But there has not been anymore blood since early this morning so we're praying it was something that has passed and won't show again.

- Linda

Scan Report

We saw Jimmie’s oncologist today for the report on last week’s CT Scan – and it was as GOOD as we had heard it was going to be!  Still, it was good to get it in print so it's official now.  All but one of the cancer nodules had shrunk from 5 to 10%, and a few had disappeared.  After the disheartening report in March the doctor had been frowning whenever Jimmie’s Africa campaign was mentioned, but based on this new scan he was smiling again.  He said there should not be a problem with Jimmie going – so you know Jimmie is smiling, too.

- Linda

Phone Call

Phone calls from doctor's offices tend to make me tense.  In our experience if the doctor calls you out of the blue bad news quickly follows.  Well, we got such a call yesterday that was an exception to the rule.  We did not get any details yet, but the doctor's assistant called just to say the report on Monday's CT Scan is GOOD.  The cancer has shrunk!  We will get the full report next Monday, but we are rejoicing today.

We are also rejoicing because Jimmie started his 2-week break from the chemo yesterday . . . apparently just in time.  This past weekend Jimmie developed a new side effect from the medicine that was scarier than the rest have been, internal bleeding.  We didn't realize at first that's what it was so we didn't call the doctor until late Monday (as luck would have it, just minutes after the nurse's line closed for the day.)  So on Tuesday when the nurse was telling me on the phone that Jimmie had to come in right away and not to take any more of the chemo, Jimmie had already swallowed his last pill of this round.  And on Wednesday with no medication, the bleeding stopped.  We just pray that particular side effect doesn't crop up again.

- Linda

CT Scan

Jimmie had a new CT Scan Monday morning at the crack of dawn . . . okay, so 9:00, but we had to get up at the crack of dawn to be there since we had to first go to his oncologist for more blood work.  Naturally, it had to be before the scan since Jimmie gets injected with dye that would do crazy things to the blood work.  Poor Jimmie.  I think that made 4 needle jabs today.  But maybe the CT machine made up for that.

Most of Jimmie's previous scans have been at the imaging center in an auxiliary building  for the hospital, but they were booked today so we had to go to the hospital proper.  Since the two centers are both run by the same hospital I would have expected things to be pretty much the same, but Jimmie declares they were quite different.  Of course, paying to park is different.  And their procedures were all different.  But even the scan was different.

Jimmie had gotten used to the clear, calm recorded American voice quietly giving directions to patients in the other CT machine, so he was surprised when this one suddenly issued very energetic, enthusiastic commands.  Even more so since those commands came with a strong Australian accent and phrasing.  At least it kept things more interesting.  But Jimmie mimicking that voice on the way home?  That made getting up at the crack of dawn worthwhile!

- Linda

3 Down, 1 to Go

Actually, only 1/2 a week now to finish this second round of Sutent.  Bright and early next Monday morning Jimmie gets a new CT Scan, but it will be the week after before we receive the results.  Next week will be a very long one as it always is while waiting to hear something.

But this past weekend was very good.  We drove up to Cookeville, TN, on Friday to see our co-worker and director of IBTM, Ronald D. Gilbert.  I helped him with some computer projects but mostly we enjoyed some good cooking by his wife, Carolyn, and a great visit with them. 

Jimmie and Ron discussed some work stuff, but they were soon swapping campaign stories.  I love listening to those!  They figured out they have done at least 12 together, so they each had some good tales on the other.  I still shudder when I hear the one about Jimmie throwing rocks at "something" in the lake a few feet away from them to see if it would move, and then realizing it was a live crocodile watching them.

On Sunday we drove another hour up to Tompkinsville, KY, to the Rock Valley Church of Christ that sponsors Ron's work with IBTM and is a tremendous help with the work.

Jimmie spoke twice, preaching at the morning worship and then presenting the work of IBTM in an afternoon session to which other area congregations were invited.  In between there was a delicious fellowship meal (Jimmie is STILL talking about the banana pudding!) and a work session to get 1,000 Bibles ready to ship this week.

Part of the volunteer crew Sunday.
Every Bible has 2 inserts glued inside the covers before it is shipped -
the plan of salvation and  how to identify the church of the New Testament.

Jimmie and Ron looking over some Bible class materials donated to IBTM to ship to congregations overseas.

 Tompkinsville also has another building we were interested to see - the oldest church building in the area.  John Mulkey (1773 - 1844) was a Baptist preacher from a well-known family of Baptist preachers.  But as he compared his reading of the Bible with the Baptist doctrines he taught he began to realize that his doctrines were wrong.  In 1809 he began to express his change in sentiments from the pulpit and caused quite an uproar.  After months of dissension and visits from Baptists delegates John Mulkey arose on the 2nd Sunday of November and asked those of the congregation who agreed with him to walk out the back door.  He joined them and together they started a congregation of the Lord's church based solely on the Bible.

The church building that still stands in Old Mulkey State Park is the building that they built.

Everything is still original other than the flooring.

Ron said that for many years the state of Kentucky had a plaque up identifying this church as the one you read about in the New Testament . . . but apparently there was a protest by someone and the plaque was removed a few years ago.

Naturally, Jimmie always checks out the pulpit.  This one was a bit different, more like a retaining wall.

I found this site fascinating for another reason as well.  It seems that one of my distant relatives was a part of the original congregation and her grave is in the adjacent cemetery.

 There is a plaque commemorating the life of Hannah Boone Stewart Pennington (1746 - 1828) and her headstone was the only one freshly decorated.  Even though she buried two husbands she is still known here by her maiden name of Hannah Boone, probably because her brother's name was Daniel.

The mother of Daniel and Hannah Boone was sister to one of my great-grands so that makes us very distant cousins.  I was pleased to learn that a cousin had been a part of the Restoration Movement all those years ago.

We took time for a quick photo Sunday morning before heading to Kentucky -

and then stopped in Crossville, TN, to see Jimmie's brothers before heading back to Georgia.  So, it was a very good trip.

- Linda